Maybe it's in our nature

Unlike happy news which have a mysterious way of travelling fast, not-so-good news seldom travel far or fast. Which in a way, limit the dose of support and encouragement the people in pain could and should get.

Three of my friends are giving birth to their respective third child this year. Juz is counting her days now, while Wina is due a bit later and Yam (yes, my goddaughter, Khadijah Najwa is getting another sibling) even later. Most of our friends have heard about the anticipated arrival of additional bundles of joys.

Three of my friends just went through some rough times. One girl has to let go of her new fetus after the doctor confirmed that her fetus was not growing and no heartbeat was detected. Another friend’s wife went through a similar experience – she had to let go of her less-than-two-months-old fetus due to some complications. As for the other girl, she is still healing her inner wounds after a broken engagement recently.

They say that friends could help double our happiness and divide our sorrow when we share them. But I supposed, it’s always easier to let others know of happy news – weddings, births, promotions, getting a new and better car – than to share one’s gloomy news. Maybe it’s in our nature that we don’t like to trouble others with our own troubles. Maybe it’s in our nature that we don’t want others to worry about us too much. Maybe.

But often we forget that sometimes the best way to soften one's troubles is to solace those of others. Since everybody has their own problems, sometimes in comforting others, we comfort ourselves too. Besides, isn’t kindness an inner desire that makes us want to do good things even if we do not get anything in return? Maybe that is in our nature too – but often we tend to forget about it.

After all – it is in our nature to be forgetful…

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I learned of an old acquaintance’s death yesterday. He was 29 and was suffering from cancer. Allahyarham Ahmad Najmi Haron had been safely buried in Newcastle, England.

I heard that he discovered of his illness some time in mid 1999. All these years, I had never known about it at all, perhaps partly because we are from different batches. Thanks to some project in which we were both involved, I remember Najmi as a strong-willed person, a little on the serious side and very dedicated in whatever he was doing. I believe he will be remembered fondly and will be sorely missed by family, friends and even acquaintances – Al-Fatihah…